Then I Took Skyrim 1.03 Patch in the Knee...

Skyrim is the fifth installment of the Elder Scrolls series. A few days ago, Skyrim 1.03 patch was released and successfully took an arrow in the knee. No game is perfect (except Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of Patriots :p), Skyrim was born and sent to the wild lacking sugar. Of course, to sweeten it and protect the dignity of her fifth son, Miss Bethesda has released a couple of patches to fix things here and there and add some low-calorie sugar so that the massive sweetness won’t kill anyone with diabetes. The newest Skyrim 1.03 patch was released to all platforms. But not on the same day since Microsoft and Sony need to “certify” it first before deciding to fetch Skyrim 1.03 “certified” patch to their hungry customers. The first Skyrim 1.03 patch release was for PC, on the 7th of December 2011. It was released in the Steam. Then, the Xbox 360 patch came on the 16th of December 2011, about more than a week after the initial PC release. Don’t want to lose to Microsoft, Sony decided to quickly “certify” the Skyrim 1.03 patch and released the PS3 version in the PSN just the next day. Thank God and Mr. Butler that it only took Sony about a week to get the patch certified. I can still clearly recall the infamous “Mass Effect 2 patch-certifying” nightmare I went through. It was too horrible and painful that I don’t want to talk about it. Even Mr. Butler will wet his pants if he remembers this.

Skyrim 1.03 patch is a divine gift and salvation from God for us, gamers. Skyrim 1.03 patch has repaired disturbing bugs in the game. So what has been fixed for good?

Skyrim 1.03 Patch

Skyrim 1.03 Patch

Ahoy #1 stability has been enstabled!
A more stable game means more hours per sitting!

Ahoy #2 Radiant Story incorrect roles-filling fixed!
Well, I honestly don’t understand which role is fixed. But what I know is, put a bucket at someone’s head, and Mr. Bucketman and Mrs. Bucketman won’t give a damn about what you are doing.

Ahoy #3 Book-placing to the bookshelves in purchased house issues fixed! What issues exactly? I haven’t tried placing books yet.

Ahoy #4 Y-input fixed to correctly scale the framerate!
Umm, Okay.

Ahoy #5 Magic resistance miscalculation fixed, yo!
Now this is crucial. Before Skyrim 1.03 patch was released, “homo-genocide” is possible. Spawn your Flames Atronach and punish her flaming body with flames and she will die. Summon the Frost Atronach and put her back to her sleep with Frost and she will surely sleep in no time. See? Flames burn flames, ices freeze ices, how is that even possible? But then, this awesome Skyrim 1.03 patch came and everyone wins. No more iced ices and burned flames. Win-win situation.

Ahoy #6 Core 2 Duo users, you are blessed!
Don’t really care, mine’s not a Core 2 Duo (troll mode)

Ahoy #7: The Last Ahoy, No more idiotic, backward-flying fire-breathing lump of meat!
The last patch, 1.02, sent dragons flying backward with one wing with the speed of light like some two-headed, one legged onion man, taking a sh*t inside a toilet in a burning space rocket made of bouncy giant green dried snot going in a suicide mission to the sun.

Aye aye, Miss Bethesda has fixed that with the Almighty Skyrim 1.03 patch. Now you can slay the dragon in the Battle at Bonestrewn Crest without the need to puke!

But speaking of which, the Skyrim 1.03 patch did not remove the “I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee..” just so you know.

I used to give a damn, then someone covered my head with a bucket...